Saturday + Sunday
I made 4 prototype books on Saturday. They look so cute, and it felt so good to hold them in my hand and flip the pages. You can only work onscreen for so long. It's way easier to go through it now, rather than just printed pages clipped together.
But it feels like the editing process will never end. I am starting to get sick of reading the same stuff over and over and over.
I have given books to my closest friends here to review. But, people have busy lives and so far, no real feedback. Maybe I need to hire a devoted editor. What do they charge I wonder?
Anyway, I feel depressed about it all. I finished it, almost, sort of, and there weren't any fireworks. It makes me depressed, even so I wrote it for myself because I had to say everything in there. And now if I get hit by a car at least it's out there... but I wrote it to connect to people. I think that's why people make art. You can't do it inside a bubble. I'm hoping that this site can be a place where people can tell me the things they love about San Francisco, the things that make them swoon.
I read it to Ruben on Saturday and it made him cry so that's a good sign. But I still don't know whether it's going to resonate with anyone else. All I know is when I read it, I cry because I am so fucking happy that it came out and I know it has been brewing/composting/cooking for the past six years. This is six years of being in love. A seven year obsession really... or longer. Because when I first came to San Francisco with Rick Conroy it was 1997. Then I went back to Canada and decided that I had to live here. I arrived Jan 1. 1999 right on time for dot com madness. Now, South Park is quiet. Well, quieter. In 2000 it was out of control. You remember. You couldn't find space on the lawn. All those dotcommers talking shop.
Anyway. I am going to document the emotional roller coaster ride I am on.
I feel like I am on it alone, completely alone. I am reading Writing down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg while I am doing this. She's helping me through it, she's my midwife.
Sunday I came to the office to do another round of corrections and edits. And now I just went through it again and found more tweaks. I just want it to be done!!!
It's a very uncomfortable place, this not quite done, almost there, how many people do I show this to until it's really done situation.
But it feels like the editing process will never end. I am starting to get sick of reading the same stuff over and over and over.
I have given books to my closest friends here to review. But, people have busy lives and so far, no real feedback. Maybe I need to hire a devoted editor. What do they charge I wonder?
Anyway, I feel depressed about it all. I finished it, almost, sort of, and there weren't any fireworks. It makes me depressed, even so I wrote it for myself because I had to say everything in there. And now if I get hit by a car at least it's out there... but I wrote it to connect to people. I think that's why people make art. You can't do it inside a bubble. I'm hoping that this site can be a place where people can tell me the things they love about San Francisco, the things that make them swoon.
I read it to Ruben on Saturday and it made him cry so that's a good sign. But I still don't know whether it's going to resonate with anyone else. All I know is when I read it, I cry because I am so fucking happy that it came out and I know it has been brewing/composting/cooking for the past six years. This is six years of being in love. A seven year obsession really... or longer. Because when I first came to San Francisco with Rick Conroy it was 1997. Then I went back to Canada and decided that I had to live here. I arrived Jan 1. 1999 right on time for dot com madness. Now, South Park is quiet. Well, quieter. In 2000 it was out of control. You remember. You couldn't find space on the lawn. All those dotcommers talking shop.
Anyway. I am going to document the emotional roller coaster ride I am on.
I feel like I am on it alone, completely alone. I am reading Writing down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg while I am doing this. She's helping me through it, she's my midwife.
Sunday I came to the office to do another round of corrections and edits. And now I just went through it again and found more tweaks. I just want it to be done!!!
It's a very uncomfortable place, this not quite done, almost there, how many people do I show this to until it's really done situation.
posted by veronica van gogh @ 7:37 PM
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