Love Letter to San Francisco Blog

5:12 AM - April 18, 1906

2005-07-26T14:44:00.000-07:00

April 18th is this city's September 11th. Except natural disaster, not human created.

In the past 2 days I have seen the April 18th referenced to the day the earth shook this town.

Coppola owns this building now

Yeah. So where was I going with this. Oh yes. There is a gold fire hydrant in Delores Park and I found out that every April 18th it is repainted gold again.

That water source saved everything south of 20th street from burning.

San Francisco's architecture is so fragile. It all goes up so fast since most houses are made of wood. Now I have first hand experience: my apartment was in a fire that destroyed 24 units on July 8, 2005. It was very very spooky going inside the burned out building 2 days later to get what was left of my stuff.

Jaynel Attolini review

2005-07-07T14:41:00.001-07:00

"Falling in love is so thrilling it knocks you off your feet. And just when you think you've learned everything wonderful you possibly could - there's one more discovery to allure, seduce, keep you entertained and make you never want to leave. Love Letter to San Francisco captures that essence, sharing all the city's most loved places, people and personalities."

-Jaynel Attolini
It's Just the Anti-Depressant Talking

Banubula's review

2005-07-07T14:41:00.000-07:00

The city is depicted as a woman, a lover. In these series of short pieces, Spiralgirl reveals a city that can be at times elusive, at times warm, a capricious creature who taunts us with her ravishing architecture but betrays us with her frigid weather. A city full of faults:

She's impossible (when it comes to parking)" but redeemed by her charm , her "creative fire.

The second half of this little book is a list of specific places that Spiralgirl has collected. We all have collected places like these, those of us who have made a home here. A small private treasury:

"If you were a film director looking for the perfect lounge for your two characters to have an affair, I'd take you here..."

And

"Expect to see older men wearing white aprons at these places..."

Tarin Towers Review July 2005

2005-07-07T14:37:00.000-07:00

"Part travelogue, part poetry monograph, part invocation, part hymnal,
Love Letter to San Francisco is a small book of big sighs. I would
love all seekers -- those who come to San Francisco without knowing why
-- to sit in a park or on a bus and read this book as a meditation and
an act of gratitude. This book sums up why we stay."

Tarin Towers
Winner of the Pushcart Prize for Poetry
Author of Sorry, We're Close

it's july already.

2005-07-06T13:04:00.000-07:00

thank you Banubula for buying my book and posting about it here.

so i was away from the City for a week and when we were just coming off of the bridge, past the palace of fine arts, i looked up, and there were rolling hills of the city, the landscape covered in white buildings. not brown, not grey. white.

looking up Divisidero street from Lombard made my heart surge... i am still completely smitten.

someone suggested that i write about her scent a bit more. people seem to like that part. every time i go to phil's there is 1 book left.

Philz Coffee

2005-06-13T14:27:00.000-07:00

So I've been selling my books at Phil's coffee.
I made a poster for the window and brought it to Phil on Friday. He's in the book. How could his coffee and Phil himself not be in the book. The man is a God when it comes to coffee. He is developing a following. And, he has been very supportive of the book.

Last weekend I met Sue there for coffee because she wanted to buy another one, with the full guide, and it ended up being this really great visit where the world expanded a bit, for just a few seconds. And then it closed back up again.

4 minutes and 38 seconds

2005-06-01T15:42:00.000-07:00

4:38 seconds

This is how long it takes to go under San Francisco Bay.

Yesterday I timed it on my phone's stopwatch. The moment the train leaves Embarcadero station to the time you pop up onto dry land headed for Oakland.

Sometimes it feels like a very long time that you have to spend down there, under the Bay. My pal Nelly said she just can't do it. The thought of being down there during an earthquake is insta-suicide.

I was wondering how long it takes to take the F train from First Avenue in Manhattan to Bedford. It's probably half.

Costumes

2005-05-28T13:56:00.000-07:00

Last sunday i was sitting in delores park by myself with my bike making a few calls.
its amazing how many other people were doing that too. by themselves
just baking in the sun, and talking on the phone or reading.

so all of a sudden 30 people on bikes wearing their underwear ride through the park
over the grass, through the sunbathers on the grass. no one batted an eye, just smiled
and checked out the Y Front funky type underwear that all the cute boys and girls were
wearing. there was no explanation, just people wearing underwear on their bikes. Batman kind of underwear and goofy acrylic itchy kind of underwear.

yesterday i saw the critical mass ride take over and there were a few people wearing fancy shiny cocktail dresses with heels. i like that.

People like to dress in costumes here 365 days a year. It's normal.

"My car got broken into last night"

2005-05-28T12:05:00.000-07:00

Something that you'll hear a lot here. Yesterday I walked by a car that had the entire back window smashed in. It was a beater. There was even a "Jesus is Lord" thing hanging on the rear view mirror.

People will break into your car here for a cd or some change you use for the meter.

I wish the police department would publish the stats of how many cars are stolen or broken into in the Mission every week. I bet it's at least 350, 50 a night.

I know at least 5 people who had their car stolen and then it reappeared a few blocks away a few days later.

You know that when you park your car that you may come back and it's gone. That happened to Louda, Lisa and I. We came back to the spot, and her little car was GONE. And I had left my bag in the trunk with my id and glasses. It really sucked.
And of course the car turned up 4 days later completely trashed.

The sound of grocery carts

2005-05-28T12:01:00.000-07:00

I have always wondered why there aren't that many outdoor patios in the city.
How come it is hard to find places where you can sit outside?

answer 1: the hills. gravity. zoning

answer 2: the middle class white people don't want poor people who are hungry and living on the streets coming by their table every 5 minutes.

The sound of grocery carts filled glass bottles ready to be recycled is a sound I need to add to "her sounds" - that's just a fact in most neighborhoods. In some places, it's more concentrated. It's a sound like nails on a chalkboard. it's loud and it's the sound of survival. if you're collecting bottles you've hit rock bottom. but I have more respect for a person trying to make a few bucks on bottles than someone who just sits there begging for money.

e.

2005-05-06T00:37:00.000-07:00

Tonight, after bumping into my friend e. I am encouraged by the fact that there really are so many incredible people in this city doing creative things. As there are in many many cities on the planet.

Lisa Puijan's red letter today also made me inspired. There are creative people everywhere. In Toronto, in Chicago, in Philly, in New York. It's all about getting the idea and then manifesting it. Having the faith in the idea and yourself to do it. That's all really it is.

A bunch of people who are in the book have offered to sell it in their spaces. This is wonderful. I have a lot of work to do... but it's my passion so it's really not that much effort, it's more of a pleasure to do it.

Post your review here

2005-04-23T20:05:00.000-07:00

examples of stuff readers have said

"It's part prose-poem, part practical guide to SF."

"You really LOVE this city don't you?"

"Congratulations! You have inspired me to do the same."

"I want to give this to my friend who moved away."

first copies

2005-04-23T19:41:00.000-07:00

i ordered a bunch of copies for myself from cafe press on monday, and they arrived a few days ago and I love them! sure, there's a few tweaks here and there to do but they are sweet pocket sized books and I feel good. just so you know -- it does take them 2 days to make the book and then add the shipping time. (I think I wrote about that before.. but I think it's only fair to let you know)

Jaynel started reading it last night. She's someone who is going through a lot health wise and yet she left me this beautiful message telling me she is so proud of me and that she wanted to have champagne to celebrate, when she shouldn't but it was her genunine happiness for me that meant a huge huge amount. Elizabeth was also amazing and inspired because she has already started writing a book and now she knows that she can do it this way. To me, this domino effect is BEAUTIFUL.

Anyone creative, anyone who wants to write a book about whatever they want can do this now. Don't let the hunt for a publisher hold you up. That can come later, once you are holding a professional, beautiful booklike object in your hand!!!

Here's the other thing: I think I have felt vulnerable about this book a little because there is so much of my spirit in it and the big leap in writing from the spirit is not being afraid that people will rip it to shreds, but that their spirits will hear what my spirit is saying. You know what I mean? I am sort of new at this, sort of not. Anyway. I feel good now as of Monday I felt like I could finally release this, these ideas, these experiences. There is no better feeling other than being in love.. but that's what I write about so it's all in there...

Cafepress

2005-04-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

well, when all is said and done, I have to say I am pretty happy with how Cafepress has given me tech support during the whole book thing, and I receive the first copies tomorrow.

They took a bit longer to get to me than I expected, I paid for the 2 day shipping which is 15 dollars and thought they would come today. So I called and they said that it takes 2 days for them in production and then the shipping happens. Oh.. that's good to know so I can tell folks who are going to order them....

Anyway. I have had a beautiful exchange with Lo Bil in Toronto about writing in the past few days, and it was all about how when you are on a roll you cannot take a break, you cannot put it aside, you just have to plow through it until it's done. And, from this journal you might be able to see in the first few entries that I felt like it would never be done.

I am still finding corrections in the prototype that I made. I sent one to Lo, and gave one to Paolo and I have one left for me. Tomorrow I will make special books without the directory to send to friends who might not be coming to san francisco anytime soon so that info is not really that relevant to them.

Plus it's more of the prose poetry part, which I would have liked the whole book to just be stories, but I wanted to offer some value since it's for sale. I wish I was independently wealthy and could publish as many books as I wanted and give them away and leave them at hostels as JX suggested.

Life is full right now. I feel really good, but am also kind of tired, too. Talked with a good friend yesterday about the book, and she reminded me that the book is not an extension of me, it's not my heart, my heart belongs to me, this is something that had to come out and once it's out it's out and it has a life of it's own. That's the beauty of making things.

making more

2005-04-15T19:35:00.000-07:00

I have pushed myself really hard all week to get this done. I went through 3 rounds of revisions and corrections and I know there is more to do. Today was the day I was going to attempt to upload it to Cafe Press so I could send a bunch of copies to myself and mail them to friends and family. It didn't work. Try again.

I feel like I have to pack it in for tonight. It might be that I just make my own prototypes for now. I cannot believe how much work this is, how much time it is taking.

I printed 5 more copies - its 77 pages now. I carried them home last night and then took them to the place where they will be bound today.

Saturday I got 3 more done, and gave one to Paolo tonight to read and have on his shelf for when his visitors from Brazil come. He appreciated receiving one of the first copies. Next week I will be making more and hopefully deal with Cafe Press and figure it out. Setting up a store, that part was not bad, but making the actual book and getting all the files to work - I kind of hit a few walls there.

Doing this is definitely a journey. I feel happy that it's taking shape.
Whether it's accessible to the general public, and it resonates I have no idea. Prose/poetry is tricky that way. I think that it will speak to anyone who has a love affair going on with not just San Francisco, but any city. To be in love with where you live is a state of mind, but it also effects the heart, the spirit. By writing to the city as if it is my lover, the spirit of the city comes out and also my own spirit and the qualities that I love in people come out too.

Tell me what you love ....about San Francisco

2005-04-14T20:44:00.000-07:00

I love:

The blue mural at 16/Mission that is on the side of the Walgreens. It used to be at 16/Delores and I was so sad when they took it down.

It's this amazing mural done with gorgeous drawings from kids - except most of the figures are chopped out of wood and painted. That corner needs this mural.
It's so happy, and as we know that corner is one of the worst in the city.

Thursday already

2005-04-14T20:42:00.000-07:00

Ok so a few more readers of my book have given me feedback. It's so valuable to be patient and wait. Let the soup cook a liiiittle bit more. It does improve.

And the ideas keep coming. Today I added "her burritos" and how could I forget:

her bridges.

I write about the golden gate bridge on the baker beach page. I want to write from the heart about the bridges. They are her bracelets. I have never thought of them that way, but they are like glittering jewellery.

Anyway. I need to figure out how to make a permanent "tell me what you love about san francisco" post that doesn't get buried in archives.

Saturday + Sunday

2005-04-11T19:37:00.000-07:00

I made 4 prototype books on Saturday. They look so cute, and it felt so good to hold them in my hand and flip the pages. You can only work onscreen for so long. It's way easier to go through it now, rather than just printed pages clipped together.

But it feels like the editing process will never end. I am starting to get sick of reading the same stuff over and over and over.

I have given books to my closest friends here to review. But, people have busy lives and so far, no real feedback. Maybe I need to hire a devoted editor. What do they charge I wonder?

Anyway, I feel depressed about it all. I finished it, almost, sort of, and there weren't any fireworks. It makes me depressed, even so I wrote it for myself because I had to say everything in there. And now if I get hit by a car at least it's out there... but I wrote it to connect to people. I think that's why people make art. You can't do it inside a bubble. I'm hoping that this site can be a place where people can tell me the things they love about San Francisco, the things that make them swoon.

I read it to Ruben on Saturday and it made him cry so that's a good sign. But I still don't know whether it's going to resonate with anyone else. All I know is when I read it, I cry because I am so fucking happy that it came out and I know it has been brewing/composting/cooking for the past six years. This is six years of being in love. A seven year obsession really... or longer. Because when I first came to San Francisco with Rick Conroy it was 1997. Then I went back to Canada and decided that I had to live here. I arrived Jan 1. 1999 right on time for dot com madness. Now, South Park is quiet. Well, quieter. In 2000 it was out of control. You remember. You couldn't find space on the lawn. All those dotcommers talking shop.

Anyway. I am going to document the emotional roller coaster ride I am on.
I feel like I am on it alone, completely alone. I am reading Writing down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg while I am doing this. She's helping me through it, she's my midwife.

Sunday I came to the office to do another round of corrections and edits. And now I just went through it again and found more tweaks. I just want it to be done!!!

It's a very uncomfortable place, this not quite done, almost there, how many people do I show this to until it's really done situation.

72 pages / 4 copies

2005-04-09T20:03:00.000-07:00

Printed up 4 copies for more editing. I cannot wait to publish it. The feeling of wanting to chop out the whole Directory of Goodness is strong and just keeping it as a pure Love Letter.

While writing this, I have felt so impatient - I want to hold the book in my hands, and have it look exactly the way I want it to. And I KNOW that ain't gonna happen.

Things rarely turn out exactly as you want them to. But fuck it. I am going to do it anyway, I had to write this thing. It wrote itself. It's probably all over the place.

So, 4 copies. I just made 4 copies for trusted friends to read. I feel like I am handing over an organ dripping with blood. It feels VERY vulnerable to do this. Part of me thinks, I'll just release it and edit it myself but I am smarter than that. I know that there are a few people in the world who can make it SO much better. I just don't want them to rip it apart and get all editorial on me.

It's a familiar anxiety. It's holding EVERYTHING in, and waiting to release it. It's not a great feeling actually, and I feel completely obsessed. I might as document this whole pre-publishing silliness. It's a bit different than other stuff I've done.